4 Top Tips if you’re co-parenting with a hostile ex-partner
Co-parenting with a hostile ex-partner?
`Really?‘ I hear you say? You’ve got an ex who will tell anyone who listens that you are like Vlad the Impaler – minus the sensitivity and kindness. That you like nothing better than spending your evenings twisting heads off kittens.
Easy for us to say, isn’t it?
But…it’s possible. It may feel it is possible in the same way winning the jackpot of the National Lottery is possible but it can be done.
It just takes a little more work. With no further ado here is Family Law Assistance‘s guide to 4 things you can do that will help:
1.) Rely on your ex as little as possible.
It’s worth remembering you are as much a parent to your child as your ex is. So act like it. If your child is in nappies buy them. With nappy bags, wipes, changing mats, etc. If they’re older make sure they have their own clothes (not just ones your ex bought) and everything else they’ll have at home (i.e. your place as well as your ex’s). If you have PR deal with your children’s school, doctor, whatever directly. Don’t use using phrases like `My ex didn’t tell me’. It is your job – not your ex’s.
2.) Remain child-focused at all times.
You may feel you are put in impossible situations, your kids losing out as a result. But it’s important to understand you cannot control your ex and that he/she is responsible for his/her own actions. Your duty is to your children.
If you feel you are put in a
probably familiar `damned if you, damned if you don’t’ situation ask yourself `What is best for the kids here?’
3.) Don’t rise to the bait.
Don’t get into arguments. If you feel your ex is attempting to provoke you that makes you want to let them know exactly what you think…don’t.
You’d be shocked how long an ill-chosen reaction can be dragged up in conversation, legal documents and court hearings.
4.) Take the long view.
We won’t pretend it’s easy, fair or logical. But at some point all this will be old history. You probably won’t care. Your kids almost certainly won’t. Maybe your ex will…but your children won’t be subject to the Children Act 1989 and whatever they say or do will have no impact on you and you’ll have moved on to happier times.
Co-parenting is possible even with a hostile ex.
In conclusion it is possible. It is hard. But it is possible.