Checking Facebook and other things more important than your child contact case

Child contact or Facebook?Finding that lost dog in Arizona or contact with your children?

Contact with your children is the most important thing in the world to you. Not seeing them has caused you to fall into depression. Put you into debt. Ruined friends and relationships. Generally turned your world upside down.

And yet when it comes to doing something about it you do stuff that isn’t going to help. This includes (but isn’t limited to):

  • Going on holiday during a crucial part of your case.
  • Deciding to print your documents the morning of the hearing.
  • Not asking the boss for some time off to do stuff that needs doing because he may say no.
  • Turning up late.
  • Not looking after crucial documents .

Rabbit in the headlights?

Every action has a reason behind it. When people do this sort of thing it’s usually because they don’t want to go to the damn hearing or deal with the horrible paperwork. We don’t blame them for that. It’s a normal (and sane!) reaction when faced with something unpleasant. (It’s different for us. It’s our job and we stay neutral when you’re feeling under pressure).

But how would it be if dealing with these horrible jobs made you gain the feeling that you’ve seized control of the situation? That you’ve ticked something else off the list of things that need to happen to achieve your goals.

And this is something you can do that will help your situation with zero legal knowledge, help from people like us or anything like that. It’s free.

Things to do instead of working on your case?Catch-22

The above is easy to say but can be more challenging to do. But it is possible. Because it’s a mindset thing. And you’re in charge of your mind. Whether it is deciding to give the ex’s solicitor both barrels, telling the judge like it is or choosing to be happy when others wouldn’t be – it’s down to you.

The longer we’ve assisted people the more we’ve realised the more responsibility you take for yourself, the more power you have.

This post comes off the back of a conversation with a colleague who said how frustrated when people seemingly do things to damage their own situations. If the above applies to you…what can you do to make sure you’re making it that little bit easier?

When should I post about my case on social media?

If it’s on social media it’s known to the Family Court

OK – that’s a slight exaggeration but if you are in the Family Court be care. It is a good assumption to make. If you put it on Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Tumblr, Instragram, etc. everyone can see it.

Social media provides useful information in the Family Court`But I have locked down my account and no one can see it!’ I hear you cry. It’s what everyone always says in court, just after they have faced hostile questions by an aggressive solicitor or barrister. Or what they say when they’ve just seen the screenprints of that Facebook post where they have given their honest and considered opinion of the judge, solicitor, barrister, the ex and the CAFCASS officer. There may be pictures of you `refreshed’ after a night on the town to get over the hearing where your ex accused you of alcoholism.

The Family Court will take the information it has into consideration.

So the answer to the question `When should I post on social media about my case is easy’.

The answer is `…whenever you are happy for anything you say online to be read and used against you in court’.

Of course you have a right to post whatever you like online as long as you’re not breaking the law. You can point this out to anyone who will listen. You can talk about complaining to the manager/regulatory authority/your MP about how your right to privacy has been breached.

The Family Court doesn't expect to be an angel but...The Family Court won’t care – it is interested in the best interests of the child and not your privacy. You may be told that it’s a separate matter you should deal with elsewhere (as in `not in this court room’).

It doesn’t matter how much you lock your Facebook account down either. Or how careful you are with your friends. Or how complicated your password is.

Truth is…if you publish it, it will be seen somehow. I’ve seen and heard the above a thousand times. I’ve seen and heard people cross examined on their comments. I’ve seen cases swing on a Facebook page or picture.

But none of this will matter on the day, in court, with the other party doing every thing it can to discredit your case and promote it’s own. The other party will often happily take a ticking off from the court too – they’re not going to lose their job, receive a fine or anything like that. But there’s a good chance they may make their client very, very happy if the result is one they like and you don’t.

You don’t want to waste your time fighting a second battle with people when you should be concerned with one and one alone – the matter in hand. Again. Keep your eye on the ball and don’t get distracted.

Posting on social media is one of the worst things you can do to damage your case. Don’t do it!