How to get a residence order

Steven Wadehttps://familylawassistance.co.uk/our-founders/

How to get a residence order

It’s a commonly googled question: `How to get a residence order’. (It’s important to realise that they’re officially `lives with’ orders these days – but most people – including those in court – still call them a `residence order’).

For many parents it’s incredibly important to get one and something they’re prepared to fight, pay and struggle for.

The irony though? It’s not that important and having one in your favour almost certainly doesn’t change anything that significant in your day-to-day parenting with your ex.

So how do I get one?

Easy (aha). All you need to do is convince the court that ordering that you’re the resident parent is in their best interests. Or more accurately – convincing the court that not making such an order would disadvantage the children.

That’s going to be pretty hard if you don’t understand what having one actually does. Because if your reasons for getting one isn’t covered by the order…the court won’t order it.

How to get a residence order – what happens if you get one?

In short, a residence order says where a child `lives’. It also allows the resident parent to take the child abroad for up to 28 days without the permission of the non resident parent.

That’s it. It doesn’t mean the police will collect the children and return them to you if the ex holds onto them. It doesn’t mean you can choose their school unilaterally, change their names, withhold them from the ex if you decide to.

So if you want one on any of the above basis…you’re wasting your time (and quite possibly your money too). Most of the above are covered by having PR in any case – which all mothers have and all fathers who are on the birth certificate, have an order awarding it or were married to the mother).

With this in mind…is it still important to you?

Why do people get a residence order then?

Another great question. I’m not sure. I think some people like the thought of a piece of paper saying the children `live’ with them – even though having one has nothing to do with the number of time children spend with each parent (that’s covered in Child Arrangement Orders).

Often solicitors drafting the order (which they will do, if you’re representing yourself…!) will automatically add a line in that their client is the resident parent and the court rubber stamps it without a word. You won’t realise or notice this until you’ve got a copy of the order in your hand.

Some solicitors will say something like `It merely reflects the reality on the ground’ (this is pure smoke and mirrors) or `The law is clear on this’ (no it isn’t – the Children Act doesn’t mention this at all). Or that their client fears the children will be removed from them and such an order will give them security (which is nonsense for the reasons I’ve listed above…maybe it makes them feel safer without actually being safe…I don’t know).

Others still will say the order has to say who the children live with. No. It doesn’t.

In fact a good response to a solicitor breathing down your neck, trying to slip in a residence order in favour of their client is to ask what harm the child will come to if such an order isn’t made (this is called the `No order principle‘ – the court will make an order only if it feels the children will come to harm if such an order isn’t made)…and ask this question in court if need be.

`How to get a residence’ summed up

So to recap. You merely demonstrate the children are best served by getting one – which is actually tricky. And overall…pretty meaningless.

Because the real `power’ comes from the children spending a meaningful amount of time with you, as well as having PR.

About the author…

Steven Wadehttps://familylawassistance.co.uk/our-founders/

Steven Wade is the founder of Family Law Assistance, a team of McKenzie Friends supporting litigants in person through the family court system in England and Wales. With nearly two decades of experience in family law starting in 2006., Steven has guided hundreds of clients through proceedings involving child arrangements, parental alienation, financial disputes, and non-molestation orders as well as finance and divorce matters. He's run branches of Fathers Need Fathers in England and Wales (now Both Parents Matter), hosted workshops for separated parents, trained McKenzie Friends to assist litigants in the family and travels around the country to assist men and women in and out of court. Steven regularly produces content to demystify legal processes both in blog posts on this site and also on Tiktok and is known for his empathetic, practical advice. He has delivered training and support to parents and support workers dealing with the route through the family court.