Steven Wade is a family law advisor (McKenzie Friend) with nearly 20 years of experience helping people represent themselves in court. Having been through the system personally and supported thousands of others since, he knows what it’s like to face the stress, confusion, and pressure of doing it alone. This blog shares practical insights that empower you to take control of your case — without the legal jargon or the hefty solicitor’s bill.
A grandmother’s saga
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The only alternative to a solicitor.
She was meant to be looking forward to retirement
Instead she cried, holding her son saying `We’re never going to see him again’. Her grandson was a few months old – her first grandchild. She’d always joked with her son that when he had kids she wasn’t going to babysit because she’d done all that. If she did look after them…she was going to feed them chocolate, let them run around and then hand them back to mum and dad.
Her grandson was perfect. He was born on her wedding anniversary….which was also her husband’s birthday. And all her jokes went out the window. She bought a cot and toys as a gift – including a beautiful rocking horse for when he was old enough for it.
She had been hurt when her daughter-in-law had refused to let her hold her grandson. She was also hurt when her daughter-in-law said she didn’t want the baby’s dad to be like her husband too.
But….the daughter-in-law had just given birth. Hormones and all that…she understood. She wasn’t going to say anything.
The bombshell
And then it happened. The call from her son to say her grandson and daughter-in-law had left without warning. The house had been stripped while her son was at work. The nursery was empty too…except the rocking horse she had bought.
That had been left in the middle of the now empty room.
Her son came home to her and they cried together saying `We’ve lost him forever’.
Contact started
So her son contacted his wife. She had left him for another man. The divorce papers came within a fortnight and her son was allowed to see his son for an hour a week in a supermarket cafe. She held back the tears when she saw her grandson. Her daughter-in-law’s parents left after exactly an hour each week. They refused to talk but watched her and her son like eagles.
She’d asked if her husband could see the baby too. They were refused. There was no discussion.
Contact stopped
And then it all ended. The son applied for a court order for contact. He got it. It took place in a contact centre. She was allowed to accompany him – but only after much persuasion. For an hour a week. She’d had allegations of abuse against her, as had her son. The persuasion didn’t extend to her husband. He wasn’t allowed to see his grandson at all. That state of affairs would continue for over a year. Her husband didn’t know what his grandson looked like as their son wasn’t permitted to take pictures of him.
Grandparents
And after all that…it worked out. Her son didn’t really believe her when she said `He’ll be here one day’ as he sat at the dining room table pretending to get on with life. When her grandson missed his christening with several of his cousins from around the country and beyond. When he missed the chance to meet his new cousin, his dad’s wedding to his new partner and his first father’s day and birthday with his paternal family.
But it happened.
This post is for informational purposes only and does not constitute legal advice.
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