Steven Wade is a family law advisor (McKenzie Friend) with nearly 20 years of experience helping people represent themselves in court. Having been through the system personally and supported thousands of others since, he knows what it’s like to face the stress, confusion, and pressure of doing it alone. This blog shares practical insights that empower you to take control of your case — without the legal jargon or the hefty solicitor’s bill.
Comedy in the family court system
Family Law Assistance
The only alternative to a solicitor.
What type of biscuits do your debt collectors like?
The bank manager looked at me, open mouthed. She started and said `Sorry?’
I warmed to my subject and replied `What type of biscuits do your debt collectors like? Because if they’re going to root through the junk at my place I’ll make them a cup of tea while they’re doing it. I’ve got worse things going on then worrying if they’re going to try to find something of value at home’.
`There’s no need to be like that’ she said. I felt a little guilty. She was just doing her job. On the other hand I felt like a wild-eyed loner at the gates of oblivion. I may have sniggered a little hysterically because of the way she way looked at me.
I felt like a nutter….but didn’t care that much at the time.
Problems
There’s a scene in the movie `Lake Placid‘ where the protagonists come across a 15 foot crocodile while trying to not get eaten alive by the 30 foot one which they dispatch messily with one of them says `Back to one’.
The point here is that a 15 crocodile is a relatively minor problem compared to one twice the size.
It’s a similar situation when your family implodes without warning and you’re catapulted into the family law system.
Allegations of abuse. Check. At least 3 intimidating letter from an aggressive solicitor a week. Check. No contact with my child. Check. Wondering if I was about to lose my home. Check.
The thought of a couple of blokes in black puffa jackets and facial tattoos paying me a visit didn’t phase with me. Or the threats of a damaged credit rating either for some strange reason.
I’d already lost the most important thing in my life – my son.
A strange camera angle
For a long time being dropped into the family law system felt utterly surreal. Up was down, left was right and right was wrong. Every assumption I had was blown away. I used to look at people out of the corner of my eye to see if they were in on it. The huge practical joke it must have been. The judge surely didn’t mean that did he? The CAFCASS officer can’t really have meant that could she have? The police officers who turned up to threaten me with arrest for wanting to take my son for a walk in his pushchair – got to be actors who are all in on it. I was the star of The `Truman Show‘, surely? It was an episode of `Game for a Laugh‘ or `Candid Camera‘.
I was convinced that at any moment I’d find the door to the real world or maybe Jeremy Beadle would turn up, shake my hand and show me where the hidden cameras were….except that never happened.
This was my reality.
After the credits rolled…
And despite that – it wasn’t an unhappy ending. Or even the ending at all. It did me a lot of good. People always say that `When life gives you lemons, make lemonade’. It felt more of a case of setting up a manure stall after having a metric ton of s**t dumped on your head.
I wrote my own story. And I’m still writing it. And it led to the foundation of Family Law Assistance too…
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