What can I do if my ex is lying in court?
- Introduction
- Why do people lie in court?
- Why are people bothered by lying in court?
- How do courts deal with lying?
- What can you do to expose lies?
- How can lies impact your case?
- How to (and not to) deal with lies in your case
- Conclusion
Introduction
A friend of mine told me he’d been speaking to a family court judge who had said to him `I know for a fact that people lie in my court in my court every single day but what can I do about it?’
You’re either going to be shocked by this or totally unsurprised. If I’m honest, I’m not sure which one I am. Maybe…both.
Lying in court is one of the top things people search on the internet before. They go to court and they expect justice (or fairness – they’re not necessarily the same thing) and truth. And if you can’t get truth in court, where can you get it?
One truth is that you are almost certain to hear statements, comments and views that you almost certainly don’t believe to be true. Get too obsessed by them and you can end up losing focus and ultimately, your case.
This blog has been written to give you some perspective and some potential solutions too.
Why do people lie in court?
It’s because they feel it will improve the chances of an outcome they like. Or they believe the lie. Or they consider it a `white lie’ that does more good than harm. It could be they feel the lie they are telling will lead to someone being punished for something they knew happened but can’t prove. Or something else.
In short, it’s complicated. You almost certainly don’t know why they’re lying because no one is a mind reader.
Lying can have a number of effects. It can delay a resolution, enabling the lying party to establish a desired status quo. It can convince the court that their argument is stronger. It can cause the other party distress. It can cause them to lose focus on why they are in court in the first place. It can just be good old `mud-slinging’, using the time honoured principle of attempting to blacken the character.
There is also the possibility that they are right and you are in error. Or that it’s a matter of personal perception and not objective fact – and no one is `lying’, it’s just that you have a different viewpoint.
It could be as simple as that. But maybe not.
Why are people bothered by lying in court?
This is an easy one: People have a sense of fairness.
Fairness that untruths should be called out, fairness that good behaviour should be rewarded while bad should be punished. Fairness that honesty is a good thing and lying is bad. They feel that lying is contempt for the others and fundamentally unfair.
They believe that courts are a place for justice and by demonstrating the strength of the position, all will be well.
How do courts deal with lying?
It depends. It depends on what is happening at the moment in the case, who the judge is, what the lie is about and many other factors.
Courts will take a view that everyone is honest unless evidence has been seen to the contrary. Chances to present evidence are restricted to certain kinds of hearings too. It’s important to realise that this mindset is very old-fashioned. The court believes everyone is honest, everyone is child-focused, everyone is keen to only progress matters fairly, competently and amicably. It’s why people swear oaths, make declarations of truth and risk being charged with contempt of court if they are caught lying. It’s one of the reasons that a solicitor who you feel may have been caught out `lying’ will apologise for the `misunderstanding’ they have caused, saying they meant no disrespect to the court and ask for forgiveness.
Lying is a big deal – because how can a court make a good decision if it has bad information?
Courts have to believe people are being honest – because if everyone assumes everyone is lying at all times…nothing can be progressed.
In reality though? Lying is almost certainly not going to be punished. But it is quite possible that a court will `draw inferences’ from someone if they are caught telling lies. They may be described as an `unreliable witness’ – which in `court speak’ is pretty damning.
Like I said at the top of this blog post – courts know they’re lied to – but there are limits to what they can do about it.
What can you do to expose lies?
There are certain hearings you will get an opportunity to this. Namely contested and final hearings.
In terms of procedure, the other types of hearings – not so much. And that’s for a simple reason – these types of hearings don’t deal with evidence. The court will expect allegations of lying, etc. to be backed up with evidence. Otherwise it’s a simple `he-said-she-said’ situation where a judge is sitting looking at two people contradicting each other with having no basis for working out who is lying and who is telling the truth.
That said, it can benefit your case sometimes to submit a document that demonstrates that something put to the court isn’t true/accurate. Courts may look at this evidence (if it is significant) or you may be told you have not had the leave of the court to submit it, meaning it will not be looked at (or the other party’s solicitor may ask the court to do so if they feel it weakens their client’s case…)
But for contested and final hearings – now is your chance.
It is why you need to make sure you have all relevant documentation in your bundle or witness statement.
If your aim is to expose the lies and prove your ex partner a liar however…you’re wasting your time. The court will rightly not be interested. And you’ll be wasting your time, using the court as a weapon as opposed to acting in the best interests of your child (or getting an equitable settlement in financial matters).
How can lies impact your case?
It depends. It depends on the nature of the lies, it depends on how they’re presented, where you are in your case but how you deal with those lies is also very, very important. I’ll get to that in the next section of this blog.
Lies can and do alternate the trajectory and outcome of cases at times. It’s important to realise that family courts (like all civil courts) work on a `balance of probabilities‘ and not `beyond reasonable doubt’ – so less `evidence’ is needed than you’d see in a criminal court. Couple that with the fact that wishes and feelings are a factor courts will consider – because judges aren’t mind readers and it would be unreasonable for them to tell someone that they aren’t feeling what they say are feeling.
Couple that with the factor that there is almost never any punishment for lying in family court proceedings means it can be a low-risk but high-reward strategy. If there is any affect of being caught lying in court it’s usually a case that whomever has been caught lying is less likely to be believed in other parts of the case.
How to (and not to) deal with lies in your case
Fortunately, you have several ways to respond to lies.
The first is ignore them entirely. This is not advised – because it can be inferred you agree with them. If this is stuff that is totally irrelevant to your case…ignore it.
For relevant matters however a better strategy in hearings and situations when someone isn’t being cross examined is to refute the allegation and move on. Simple as that. Say it didn’t happen to get it on record and move on. Keep a record of the lies to demonstrate the actions of the other party – which in this context is often hostility.
Don’t feel the need to rebutt each lie point by point – the person doing the lying can make lies up faster than you can address them and you may well find yourself tied up in knots dealing with them instead of doing stuff like telling the court what you want, why you want it and why it’s the right thing to order.
Because while misunderstandings can and do occur it is reasonable to assume that constant falsehoods submitted to a court are unlikely to have happened randomly – because if they did one story falsely painting you in a bad light could be balanced by one painting you in a favourable one, right?
Constant lying can be indicative of hostility, not acting in the best interests of the child (or seeking an equitable outcome in a finance hearing), disrepect to the court and everyone involved in the case and indicate a lack of real justification for the order the liar is seeking.
The place to address lies however? At contest hearings – such as fact finding and contested final hearings.
The lies to address? Ones that are relevant to your case. The major ones too – don’t waste time on insignificant, petty things that while may be related add little weight to your argument. Focus on ones you have evidence for (and are actually in the bundle for too…)
The way to do it? Use the documentation in the bundle to reduce the chance of the liar falling back on their feelings or opinions. Focus on concrete facts, backed up by evidence. Use questions that require a yes or no answer combined with the evidence to lead the lying party to having to demonstrate the the lie themselves in court or else contradict the evidence before their own (and the court’s) eyes.
I know this sounds brutal. Because it is. I’m sure many legal professionals will say this is a mischaracterisation of the process…but it is how it works.
This part of the process is the trickiest, the most stressful and dramatic part of a case.
In an ideal world, you’re going to avoid this – and as we say, the magic is in the preparation.
Conclusion
Lies can affect cases. They don’t have to. The scale of their impact often has a lot to do with how you deal with them. You can’t control what anyone else is saying but you can deal with how you respond to them.
Generally, you should give them as little airtime and bandwidth as possible, dealing with them only when they are important (which is, as I’ve said above, usually less so than you may first think).
Treat lies with the contempt they deserve in short – but deal with what you have…before focusing back on what you are in court for in the first place – your children or an equitable financial settlement.
But if – after all this you still need help – book an Ask Me Anything online session and we’ll keep you on track!
