Steven Wade is a family law advisor (McKenzie Friend) with nearly 20 years of experience helping people represent themselves in court. Having been through the system personally and supported thousands of others since, he knows what it’s like to face the stress, confusion, and pressure of doing it alone. This blog shares practical insights that empower you to take control of your case — without the legal jargon or the hefty solicitor’s bill.
Parental Alienation
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A normal weekend?
With it being bank holiday this weekend many of you will spend this time with family or doing bits with kids. But for some it’s just another weekend of wishing they could see their kids. But, because the “other parent” has alienated them…it’s just not possible.
So let’s talk parental alienation…
It’s a loose term that is often used with little to no thought of cause or affect it can have on children. But the damage that can be caused is often irreversible .
So what is it?
Parental alienation is in short estrangement of a child from one of their parents. It is the “psychological manipulation of another parent” and causes unjustified manifestations including fear, disrespect and hostility towards them.
Children sadly become a “go to weapon”, as a pawn in a bitter game of chess during separation and divorce. One parent uses alienation of the other with the hope of gaining and/or retaining control.
It’s stated that mothers will often make negative comments about fathers whilst in turn dads are more likely to encourage defiant behaviour and disrespect. But the result is the same.
On the radar
Parental alienation is a growing concern for family courts however. In England and Wales “every child has a right to a relationship with both parents where there are no safeguarding or welfare concerns and contact should be promoted and facilitated by both parents as long as they have parental responsibility“.
Children being dragged into these bitter disputes between parents is undoubtedly causing real harm to them.
The Court’s paramount concern is the welfare of the children and it was seen in the case of Re A (Children) (Parental Alienation) that after an 8 year battle and an order made for children to reside with dad; he was advised to give up his legal battle as the children were extremely resistant to live with him and it was deemed they would be left “isolated and with false memories of him” .
In a separate case Justice Keehan ruled for children to reside with father as “it would impede the children’s ability to form meaningful and positive relationships now and in future and cause (him) to suffer depression in later life“.
Time critical
The problems we are faced with are that if parental alienation isn’t identified in time, the effects are irreversible and it can be difficult to identify the effects before it’s too late. Some studies state the average age for an alienated child to be reconciled with a parent is 26 years…
CAFCASS have developed their assessment framework to identify and assess the impact of parental alienation and to identify the risks including emotional harm. If parental alienation is apparent it’s vital for the professionals to to decide for the well-being of the involved children if they should have contact with one or both parents.
Divorce and separation is on a steep incline meaning the dynamics of a family life are very different now and blended families are now almost “the norm “. But that doesn’t change that the welfare of children is the most important thing and parental alienation is damaging .
The sad truth however – children involved in parental alienation will often have memories of a reality that’s is very different from the truth.
This post is for informational purposes only and does not constitute legal advice.
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