Steven Wade is a family law advisor (McKenzie Friend) with nearly 20 years of experience helping people represent themselves in court. Having been through the system personally and supported thousands of others since, he knows what it’s like to face the stress, confusion, and pressure of doing it alone. This blog shares practical insights that empower you to take control of your case — without the legal jargon or the hefty solicitor’s bill.
Family Law ain’t about Family Law
Family Law Assistance
The only alternative to a solicitor.
Shhhh! Don’t tell that scary solicitor or barrister
They’re gonna be furious about this post. If we’re lucky (?) it’ll be quoted in the Law Society Gazette or some legal professional’s blog somewhere. We’re guessing that the more prickly and negative of our learn’d friends will explain at length, with long words, appropriate case law and a careful dissection of stuff no one really cares about.
Oh well.
But it’s true. And for litigants in person this is a massively good thing. Because it means that with no legal background you can level up. And luckily – if it’s divorce you’re going through, they’re now no fault.
It’s about stuff you DO know
And it’s about stuff you can control, can afford and do know. It’s stuff you don’t even need us for and we can’t give you even if you do use one of our Family Law Specialists. It’s free too!
`So what’s the catch if it’s that amazing?’ we hear you cry?
The answer is a simple one: While it doesn’t take knowledge, it takes something much, much harder. Stuff like self control, keeping your mouth shut and not being provoked.
Isn’t this just Zen rubbish?
We get it! You don’t need to be reading this sort of thing, do you? You need help with your case. Instead you’re reading rubbish types by someone who doesn’t know how it feels (not true, btw). But look at it like this – we’re not solicitor or barristers so we have a different tack and a way of working that has helped lots of people over the last 14 years.
So what’s the answer? Get on with it!
Ok. Here it is. Here’s a list of things you can do that will (in our opinion) be worth about 75% of how you can positively influence your case.
The list
- Be whiter than white. At all times ask yourself `What would a judge think about what I’m about to do or say?’
- Be child focused. Are you sure you are being? Or are you after `fairness’, equality’, `showing the ex what it feels like’ or is it `because of the principle’?
- Don’t post about it on social media. We don’t care just how locked down your account you are, how annoyed or upset you are.
- Paperwork, paperwork, paperwork. Keep yours in order. And document what is happening!
- Be proactive. Work on the assumption that if you don’t push something forward no one else will.
- Stay positive. Don’t read negative blog posts. Don’t hang around in Facebook groups of angry people. Don’t communicate with angry people. Severe those connections if you have them.
- Focus on your case. Don’t be distracted by anger or hatred by anyone involved in your case; don’t fight the court system, don’t get involved in long complaints processes that will probably go nowhere.
That’s it. Free and massively effective things you can do to make a difference. Will do you these? You’re going to do your thing but we sincerely hope you do and sincerely hope whatever you do that it works out for the best for you.
If you need help though? You should probably read this!
This post is for informational purposes only and does not constitute legal advice.
Still need some help? Here’s what to do next…
About the author…
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