Child Custody Law – Costs and Agreements.

1 year ago

“How long is my child custody case going to cost me?” is a question I hear on the daily.

“How difficult is your ex?” is often my reply, I admit: At first glance it’s not terribly helpful but it is short and accurate. It is also very obvious. Ask about `child custody’ and it can turn into a very difficult-to-answer question.

I’m not trying to be awkward, I promise!

Mediation and agreement

Parents can and do agree child custody arrangements so that it doesn’t need to go through a prolonged court case and cost that second mortgage in solicitors’ fees! The sad truth when people are on the phone to me is that they’ve reached a crossroads. They are either going to rely on the good grace of their ex (which has normally vanished like Salt- n- Peppa!) or they need the help of the courts. And yes, we hear and read very noble articles on mediation but let’s be real – the stats show mediation doesn’t work.

As an NLP and hypnosis trainer and an ex debt collector myself – I really hoped for a different outcome! I know personally the benefits of negotiation and agreement. I extoll the virtues of this in clients as well as training our franchisees.

But it’s not just me that believe in the Power of Agreement – the court do too!

Child Custody: Hollywood -versus- Reality

If you watch an episode of Suits you will be accustomed to seeing sharp suits, mahogany-filled court rooms, rapier-wit lawyers destroying a hapless witness on the stand. The reality is that, unless you happen to be in one of the basement court rooms at the Royal Courts of Justice you won’t ever really get that feeling ancient gravitas; the judges don’t wear wigs and there was never a gavel here in the U.K….

…personally, my guilty pleasure is Saul Goodman from Better Call Saul. He portrays a sleazy lawyer using illegal tricks to get his clients results. Both shows portray cases done and dusted in lighting speed.

It doesn’t work like that!

When Captain Reality comes aknockin’ you’re going to discover the mundane, dull and boring truth:

Most family law courts are in crappy 70s buildings with awful coffee and you’re hanging around for hours! The judge or magistrates are usually middle classed men and women who talk to other legal professionals in legalese. It sort of looks like English, it sounds kinda like English but it definitely doesn’t feel like English! Oh – and your idea of an emergency does not correlate to the court’s timetabling in their antiquated admin departments. (Psst: They only accepted email as an acknowledged method of service at the start of the pandemic! They only started rolling out video hearings as the norm in Year 2 of the pandemic!)

I don’t really make a criticism of the courts: They are government funded and overrun, even more so now. Legal Aid is as difficult to find Unicorn poo!   For a mother, father, husband, wife or partner, this is of little comfort.

Behind the scenes is where the magic is at!

What doesn’t always get picked up on in the media and in Hollywood is that the real magic happens outside of the courtroom. I know, I know! Not quite so Disney-esque is it?  Having a good plan and strategy will alleviate costs and ultimately make your court case shorter and it promotes agreement. Let me give you some perspective. The average child custody case lasts for 18 months. I will admit that I have become blase when I quote those stats to clients (It used to be a longer!). That’s still a very long time for anyone. If you’re looking for shared custody or sole custody or just want to see your children it will sometimes need some joined up and out of the box thinking.

Money Money Money

“It’s a rich man’s world” . Abba wasn’t wrong! Barristers and solicitors are expensive (£250+VAT an hour for your solicitor…after you’ve paid a £500+VAT retainer and £2500+VAT for your barrister just to get out of bed!)

The courts have just put their fees up too!

What with the cost of living skyrocketing and the war in Ukraine at the moment, it’s little wonder that everyone is feeling the pinch, waiting to see how things pan out!  Add to a long court case and a difficult ex-partner and you can see how destructive this is on everyone.

But you know what….there’s an alternative to all this. You don’t need to max out your credit cards to pay for the first hearing of a case that is liable to be running for the foreseeable.

70% of people now represent themselves in family law.

And we have been helping people do just that for 15+ years now….we believe that everyone should have access to assistance in family courts. At around half the cost of your solicitor (our meetings work out around £120 an hour one you take into account VAT) and we operate a `Pay As You Go System’ meaning we’re not going to ask for half a month’s wage off you before you get to talk to us a second time (remember kids…you’re first introductory meeting with them is free! but get your credit card ready if you want a second one…!)

You are in charge of the case. You are in charge of the budget. We can’t do anything about the court system or your ex but we CAN make sure you are don’t have to plan that bank heist (and we can’t help you with that if you do, because we have no experience with criminal law).

Book your “Ask me Anything” by clicking this link. Pick when you need to ask those questions that have been keeping you up all you night, find out what you really need to know and work out a game plan with us that means you’re not putting your life on hold for the next 1 1/2 years….!