How do I represent myself?

Steven Wadehttps://familylawassistance.co.uk/our-founders/

How do I represent myself in the Family Court?

`How do I represent myself in the Family Court?’ Don’t be freaked by it, seriously. If you ask this question of a solicitor they’ll say you definitely need one of them to help you and the letters they’ll send you will urge you to get legal advice. Of course they would – they have an obligation to do so and they mayyyyyy have a vested interest in gaining clients who pay them around £250+VAT an hour.

But the truth is that the majority of people in Family Law cases represent themselves these days (with even former Presidents of the Family Division of the Courts talking about `lawyer free zones‘). It’s also true…it ain’t rocket science despite what our learn’d friends will tell you. People will often get tied down with process, caselaw and clever legal argument despite the whole goal of getting the outcome you want being very, very simple:

Acting in the best interests of the child (for child case), an equitable distribution of assets (for finances), etc. and good old fashioned convincing the court that what you’re proposing makes the most sense.

Of course – that’s the tricky bit. The devil is in the details.

It leads to the next question too…

How do I convince the court that what I want makes the most sense?

You can do a lot of it without a single bit of legal knowledge. Here are things you need to consider:

1. Organisation. Put your paperwork together in a ring binder. Don’t write on it, holepunch it, deface it. Organise it in sections (use Practice Guidance 27A which will help you create a bundle if you need to).
2. Timeline. Put a chronology together in a Word document. Not `War and Peace’. Major events only. If things are moving fast it’ll help you keep a track of what is going on.
3. Be `Whiter than White’. Things may be hard enough as it is, without you having to tell the court why you posted on social media that your ex is a `***ing ****’. Be nice to the ex even if it kills you. Ask yourself at every point `What will the judge think of this?’
4. Your goals. Are they realistic? Are they clear? Are they reasonable? Are they child focused? Get them on paper, particularly in position statements.

How do I represent myself if I don’t know the legal stuff?

There are two parts to this. The first is procedure. Your ex’s solicitor should give you advice about this – explain what is going on, walk you through it but in our experience…it’s often not the case (even if it’s in the SRA’s guidelines) with sharp practice to advantage their own client.

The second part is the stuff you need to know to help your case and keep it relevant. That’s things like the Welfare Checklist for child matters, Section 25 of the Matrimonial Causes Act and more practical stuff like knowing when to speak up and when to remain silent in court hearings (when we’re with you we’ll be suggesting you either say something or pointing out you may wish to shut up).

There’s an answer to that…

That answer is have someone with you…like us

Ouch. I hope you’re still reading. Thing is – you have a right to reasonable assistance. But it shouldn’t be a friend or family member (they may be allowed in – or they may be thrown out if the court decides to enforce the rules of McKenzie Friends). You need someone who can take notes, listen, whisper in your ear and know the law.

That’s what we do.

We disagree with some of the things solicitors say, but we’re fairly sure that going in utterly alone is seldom a good idea. No one can listen, speak, think, take notes and act impartial for such a personal matter – involving their kids, their home, their money.

So the answer to this is. Yes. You CAN represent yourself in the family court. But take someone with you, preferably who knows a bit about the law, eh?

About the author…

Steven Wadehttps://familylawassistance.co.uk/our-founders/

Steven Wade is the founder of Family Law Assistance, a team of McKenzie Friends supporting litigants in person through the family court system in England and Wales. With nearly two decades of experience in family law starting in 2006., Steven has guided hundreds of clients through proceedings involving child arrangements, parental alienation, financial disputes, and non-molestation orders as well as finance and divorce matters. He's run branches of Fathers Need Fathers in England and Wales (now Both Parents Matter), hosted workshops for separated parents, trained McKenzie Friends to assist litigants in the family and travels around the country to assist men and women in and out of court. Steven regularly produces content to demystify legal processes both in blog posts on this site and also on Tiktok and is known for his empathetic, practical advice. He has delivered training and support to parents and support workers dealing with the route through the family court.