Steven Wade is a family law advisor (McKenzie Friend) with nearly 20 years of experience helping people represent themselves in court. Having been through the system personally and supported thousands of others since, he knows what it’s like to face the stress, confusion, and pressure of doing it alone. This blog shares practical insights that empower you to take control of your case — without the legal jargon or the hefty solicitor’s bill.
Ideas for Indirect Contact and Children
Family Law Assistance
The only alternative to a solicitor.
Elaine from Family Law Assistance shares ideas for Indirect Contact with the Children.
You may be feeling disappointed and bitter at first when you begin contact with a child after a long period of no contact. By far- the most often method of contact begin with indirect contact. Usefully, these ideas could be used by anyone who is unable to have face to face contact including the grand-parents.
Ideas For Indirect Contact With Children
Ive clustered my ideas in to the following sections:
- Written
- Gifts
- Video Calls and Games
Make sure you have a variety and change it up. The first list involves writing but if you aren’t a writer please don’t be intimidated by this!
Written Ideas
- A short letter
- A Story
- Emails
- Stickers and Pictures
- Drawings and Comments
My top tips are keep it light hearted, make it short and age – related include stickers, family pictures, create albums and journals. Make it hard copy or an electronic copy. Make it relatable. What’s their favourite sticker going to be? It is going to be Spiderman, Paw Patrol or maybe your daughter likes Harry Styles! You can also create a specific email address just for them so even if they are not seeing it right now, you’re going to have plenty waiting in the inbox for them when you do get that indirect contact agreed. Scan a previous picture or drawing that you’ve got and talk to them about it. A photo story could be made up about the family pet for example , you can make it as daring, silly or heroic as possible and let your imagination run riot.
Gift Ideas
- Pocket Money
- Jigsaws
- Puzzles
- Lego
- Stationery for School
- Sports Kit, Football Boots, Tennis Racquet
- Dressing up clothes from you and your parents eg old hat, handbags, scarves, and gloves.
- Art and Crafts materials
- A Magazine Subscription
“What’s The Most Impractical Gift Giving You’ve Ever Seen Elaine ?”
I’ve seen some real Doozies in my time. There are lots of ideas about ideas involving gifting. Make it thoughtful and considered. It dosn’t have to cost a fortune. It could even be something that is home-made.
No need to over compensate and buy a ridiculous toy thats impractical. It will lead to resentments forming and what I’m talking about is the silly daft huge electrical sit in car in a balcony flat.
You can send gifts but maybe check on some ground rules first just like you would if you were sorting out Birthday and Seasonal Presents for Eids and Christmas. Maybe open up a bank account and put regular pocket money in it and I’ve heard that idea suggested by several social care professionals on various occasions to Dads. I do want to caveat that though- contact with the kids is NEVER on a Pay As You Go arrangement. But it is something that could start and it will show evidence of consistent pattern that you are sticking to.
Video Calls and Games
- A quiz
- Hide and Seek
- Guess What Im Saying
- Find Me Something
- Sing Lyrics To A Song
“What Works Well Over A Video Call Elaine?”
Its this type that can really confuddle a Dad. This cluster involves those that can be done on a videocall. They are really useful to consider. Its a bit like playing a family game in the car and you are joining in whilst driving. “I Spy” and Lego are good ones. Top Tip! Let the game end at a high point or a natural relaxed point. Like they say on Broadway “Leave them begging for more”. A great one is “Guess what I am saying” . You mute the video call and you have to try and guess what each one is saying. “Find me something” is also another lovely scavenging game. For example – ask them to hunt for something blue or something beginning with F and see what they find and show you on the call.
Remember what I said in Part 2 – Think SCARF
S – Keep it Simple
C – Consistent
A – Age Related
R – Regular Time Slots
F – Funny
and above all DONT DISS THE EX! I will say it again! DONT DISS THE EX!
This is Part 3 of 3 blogs Ive written on when family court orders indirect contact. Click on Part 1 and Part 2 to link to those articles. I’ve shared some really good ideas with you about what you can do with the children.
This post is for informational purposes only and does not constitute legal advice.
Still need some help? Here’s what to do next…
About the author…
[trustindex no-registration=google]