Preparing for a family court hearing

1. Introduction
2. Keep those documents in order
3. Stay whiter that white
4. Be clear about what you want
5. Get there early
6. Know what your hearing is for
7. Everyone needs a copy of the paperwork
8. Conclusion

Introduction

Going to court can be intimidating. You’re dealing with arrangements for your children, financial settlements or divorce. What’s even worse is that courts are an alien environment for most people and what is said and done there is often extremely bruising as you face legal professionals who seem to be there to make your life as difficult as possible.

When I faced the family courts as a litigant I was very nervous at first.

To the extent that I didn’t sleep the night before, while I played out ever nightmare scenario that could happen. I listened to calming music on the way to court to try to relax and not puke. At the hearing I felt nauseous, wired and ready to explode as aggressive solicitors did their best to push my buttons to ensure they got the best result for their client.

This is a negative image of the courts and many professionals will take issue with it pointing out that this attitude will do nothing to help litigants deal with a court case. I suspect that’s because they go to court on a daily basis and it’s `just another day in the office’ for them. And not their kids or finances earlier.

Until you’re there for your children or your financial future I’m going to guarantee you won’t know how it feels.

You need a guide. You need a guide whether you’re using someone like me to assist you in your case (and the bits before and after) or if you’re paying a solictor to represent you.

So here’s a handy guide of what I found worked (and have seen work too) over the last decade and a half firstly as litigant-in-person and then as a specialist with Family Law Assistance…

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Keep those documents in order

If you’re in court (or heading that way) paperwork is going to be key. Because if the court hasn’t seen it, it doesn’t exist. Having a killer piece of evidence is irrelevant if the judge doesn’t see it.

There can be a lot of paperwork. It can include:

• Correspondence between you, the other party, their solicitor, the court, doctors, teachers, mortgage companies, pension provides, insurance companies, the police, etc. This can include letters, texts, emails, WhatsApps, social media DMs.
• Court applications and orders.
• Statements from you, the other party and an assortment of witnesses.
• Chronologies.
• Reports – reports from CAFCASS, social services, doctors, schools, police, psychologists, drug and alcohol testing services.

It’s easy for something the court really needs to see to be lost among hundred of others of documents.

Luckily, the court provides guidelines on how to organise paperwork for hearings and how to submit it. The `rules’ are known as Practice Direction 27A that tells you how to do just that, along with what should go in the `bundle‘, how to categorise everything and even what font and size (it’s Times New Roman, 12 point in case you want to know).

Don’t write on original documents either – you don’t want your personal thoughts on stuff the court (or the other party) may see.

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Stay whiter than white

There’s an old joke that goes `Dance like no one is watching but text and email like it will be read in court one day’.

It’s funny because it’s true. Everything you say and do can be fair game in court hearing. You may feel misrepresented, that things are taken out of context or you were feeling upset at the time but that won’t matter. Your words and actions can be discussed and examined in reports, in statements and in cross examination where the other party’s solicitor or barrister will use them to try to persuade the court to order whatever is they are seeking.

Like I said earlier – you’re likely to be emotional and upset during this time in your life so it’s not unheard of for people to do or say stuff that doesn’t exactly cover them in glory and the court will understand that. But an ill-chosen word or action can come back and haunt you repeatedly if you aren’t careful.

Part of this includes being nice, compromising, fair-minded and looking for a solution to the situation – this includes when you’re dealing with your ex partner, their solicitor or barrister and everyone else you meet during this time in your life (even if you don’t feel like it).

Sin in haste, repent at leisure.

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Be clear about what you want

You wouldn’t walk into a phone shop and say `I want a mobile phone but I don’t care what one I want’.

So it’s not a good idea to walk into a family court and say at a child hearing `I want some contact’ or in a finance hearing `I want a share of the assets’ – because chances are you’re not going to get what you want.

It’s also not a good idea to say something like `I want as much as possible’ – because that is meaningless. Anything is possible, although what is realistic may differ. What you want should be based on a number of factors:

• Is it in the best interests of your child (or in finances – what do you need)?
• Can you work around whatever you want ordered (i.e. can you fit your work around caring for your child if you get what you want? Can you get somewhere to live?)
• Does the court have the powers to order what you want (because if it doesn’t you need to rework what you want)?
• Are you being fair?
• Are you willing to compromise and haggle?

Don’t come up with `buffet of options’ too. It’ll make you look indecisive. If it’s a child case it’ll look like you don’t know what is in the bests interests of thc child or you don’t have a clear idea about what you want either. Keep it simple!

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Get there early

This should be a `no brainer’.

You’d probably be shocked at how many times I’ve travelled hundreds of miles to assist someone at a hearing, only for the man or woman I’m assisting to get their late for a hearing to decide the fate of their children or finances. People have been late because they:

• Were stuck in traffic.
• Didn’t print out the paperwork they needed and the printer isn’t working.
• Couldn’t find a parking space.
• Overslept
• Had to take the kids to school first.
• Couldn’t find the court.
• The train or bus was late.
• Didn’t realise they had to be there an hour early.
• Went to the wrong court.

Get their early. Prepare everything the night before so in the morning you are relaxed, calm and ready to go.

Many courts will call everyone who has a hearing on the day for 10am (it’ll say that on the last court order or `notification of proceedings’) but won’t see everyone straight away. Instead people will be seen throughout the day, meaning if you’re unlucky you could be there all day (bring a good book!)

But you may be the first hearing of the day so you want to be there well ahead of time.

Arrive an hour early. It’ll enable you to let the court staff know you’ve arrived, hand over any statements or paperwork the court needs to see at short notice, let the court know I’m helping you (if that’s happening), to familiarise yourself with the court building and to speak to the other party’s solicitor or barrister to try to come to an agreement.

This last one is crucial.

Much of the `action’ in a case often takes place outside the court. It’s a time to discuss the situation with the other party’s solicitor, to see if compromise can be reached, to exchange paperwork and see where there is disagreement so that by the time you’re speaking to a judge you know exactly what needs to happen,

You may be surprised how many court hearings take place where the main discussion is `We had a chat outside and we’ve agreed X, Y and Z’ followed by a judge asking a few questions and making an order that either brings a case to an end or everyone agrees what the next step is.

That doesn’t happen if you arrive stressed, panicked and late (see above!)

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Know what your hearing is for

Not all hearings are the same. They have different purposes, different lengths, different attendees.

Your last order will say what kind of hearing you need to attend and it may say what is actually being discussed. You’ll need to prepare in different ways depending on this. There are a whole range of hearings, each with different formats and often require different types of papework. And of course, finance hearings vary with child ones too.

Some of these hearings will require evidence submitted (it’s why some people will say they had evidence the court wouldn’t look at – it’s not that it’s ignored, it’s just not the right time). Others are concerned with the outcome of reports, assessments, how things are doing and other factors.

So be clear about what will be happening at your one. Whoever is helping you should explain what format the hearing will take beforehand (at the very latest when you are there an hour before it starts) and ensure all the paperwork you will need is prepared, on point and with all the right people.

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Everyone needs a copy of the paperwork

It’s only fair everyone involved in a case sees all the paperwork.

That includes you, the other side and the court. You would rightly be aggrieved if the other party sent something to the court and the first you heard about it was when you were in a hearing. It enables everyone to consider and prepare for what happens next.

So if you are sending a statement, report or letter to court, it is good practice to ensure that the other party sees it too (and vice versa). Depending on circumstances, the document may go into the bundle before the hearing and everyone receives an update.

If you don’t – the worst thing that can happen is the court may decide it can’t be used/discussed in a hearing at all.

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Conclusion

You’re not a solictor so you’re not expected to know any of this. If you do have a solicitor they should be keeping you informed, the rules followed and taking proactive steps to come to a successful resolution. If they’re not – consider changing them. The same is true if you’re using someone like me to assist you too though.

The majority of people going through the family courts are self represented and the courts are taking that into account. It’s clear when you listen to how judges handle things in hearings, the rules the court follows and the proliferation of self-help resources (including blogs like these!) but there are still a substantial number of cases where at least one party has a solicitor – and when that happens they are supposed to help both parties follow the rules to make things as easy and fair as possible.

These tips are straightfoward and simple because you probably don’t have a legal background. Following them can make a huge difference to your case and I hope they help!

The alternative to the above? Us. We can help. We’ve been doing this 18 years now and when curveball is thrown at you that you didn’t see coming…we’re there to see it coming. Sound good? The first step is to book an Ask Me Anything online session. Do that and we’ll be there every step of the way with you.

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