Steven Wade is a family law advisor (McKenzie Friend) with nearly 20 years of experience helping people represent themselves in court. Having been through the system personally and supported thousands of others since, he knows what it’s like to face the stress, confusion, and pressure of doing it alone. This blog shares practical insights that empower you to take control of your case — without the legal jargon or the hefty solicitor’s bill.
The Divorce from Heaven
Family Law Assistance
The only alternative to a solicitor.
Meet Rebecca and Phil…
They’ve been married for around a decade 12 years and their marriage is over.
A couple of weeks back they both announced on social media they were separating but would remain friends and will continue to work together to make sure their children get the best start in life.
Besides, there’s no reason for animosity.
There was no `biggie’ that led to it ending. No infidelity, no abuse (or allegations of abuse) or anything like that. No bang…just a fizzle.
In terms of a divorce they’re lucky: They’re heading for a `good’ one (if a divorce can be described as such). And you know what? When it’s all over they’re going to meet up when the kids have stuff on and remain on good terms. When one or both of them remarry they’re going to attend the wedding and they’re going to quite like their ex’s new spouse. They’re going to become good friends and stay in touch for the rest of their lives.
It didn’t work out, but that wasn’t a reflection on either of them.
Paperwork
But paperwork does need to be done from a legal standpoint. You can’t remarry without it and you remain linked financially. Rebecca and Phil know this and they’ve agreed Phil will contact us at Family Law Assistance to sort it out. Even when it’s 100% amicable things need to be done.
The first step is the divorce itself. We help Phil complete a D8 form to kick things off. It’s mainly factual but there has to be `grounds for divorce’ – the reason why it’s going to happen. `No fault divorces‘ effectively exist these days, but that option is not on the form…yet. It’s something that is going to happen at some point….but not yet.
For the moment, something else needs to happen:which means we’re going to have to do something else: Usually that means the ground is going to be `Unreasonable behaviour‘ – proving to the court that the marriage has broken down irretrievably. We’ll help with the wording so a) the court will accept the divorce b) Rebecca won’t be so offended that’ll make things less amicable (both of them have done their research, know this is a necessity and Rebecca knows what is going on the form before it is sent off so there are no surprises and no bad feelings).
The court will send Rebecca an `acknowledgement of service’ (i.e. a form that just asks her to confirm she knows what’s happening and what she thinks about it); it’s her chance to `have her say’ if she wants it. But as things are going so smoothly, it’s a box-ticking exercise on her part.
She sends it back confirming she agrees. Both of them are sent back a decree nisi telling them that they can apply for decree absolute in 6 weeks.
Step two is finance. You can’t start this without a case number for the divorce. Because it’s amicable, we help Phil complete a Form A with a draft consent order that we’ve helped him prepare. Because Rebecca and Phil have agreed everything on finances they’ve both been happy to sign it – because they have agreed on what it says. Phil sends the Form A and draft consent order to the court. A few weeks later he and Rebecca are sent back a `sealed’ (stamped) order by the court confirming it’s been accepted.
They knew that despite the D8 form on the divorce form saying they didn’t have to get a finance order that they would remain financially tied and they decided it would be better to tie this loose end up.
The final step
The final step is decree absolute. Either party can apply for that with a D36 form. Until that point couples remain married; if there is a reconcilation at this stage the whole process can be dropped and that’s the end of it. In this case, that doesn’t happen so Rebecca sends the form off and that’s it. No ceremony, no drama – that’s it.
And because they’ve agreed arrangements for the children, there’s no application needed by either party. The court won’t get involved unless it has to – and the preferred option by far is that (shockingly enough) parents are the best people to decide what happens for them.
It’s taken some time and money (around a thousand pounds) to resolve this, but it’s minimal. Their financial situation was pretty simple and because they worked together.
The alternative is a divorce from hell which you can read here…!
This post is for informational purposes only and does not constitute legal advice.
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